Pawprints From Space

Every day a little more of my mother is gone. She doesn't have dementia but she is so frightened that she is fading away anyway, giving up. This is a woman whose automatic response is the glass is not only half empty, it is broken on the floor in a thousand pieces. She has no confidence. She has herself convinced that she is no longer capable of doing anything. Yet the "funny" thing is that she does not want to take a cognitive test for driving ability because she is afraid "they" will take away her license. She can drive just fine. I have ridden with her and haven't seen any problems. The root of this current situation lies in our trip to see her sister in June. She saw Aunt Theresa and how far she has slid into her Alzheimer's and Mom has herself convinced that this is what is happening to her. It is not, but you can't tell her that... she will not listen. This is the same woman, after all, who had herself convinced that she was going ...

For those who think that answering questions is easy, no big deal, try doing that for two hours straight when your brain is bound and determined to undermine anything and everything you are trying to say. That's what Mom experienced yesterday. We drove almost two hours to OSU Wexner - Martha Morehouse Tower, 7th Floor neurology clinic - and for two hours she answered cognitive testing questions and I answered questions about her emotions, state of mind, depression and anxiety for the both us (yes, I am in therapy but that's another story) and set parameters of what she might/should remember over the last month plus questions about her emotional health/state of mind. Then there is nearly the two hours drive back to Lima. I actually fell asleep while driving back. For about 3 seconds. I don't think she noticed. At least I hope not. So we pulled off in a rest area outside of Bellefontaine so I could take a 20 minute power-catnap. I can do that, I realize a lot of peo...

Tomorrow is visit #1 for the clinical trial Mom has been accepted into in Columbus. To save my sanity, what's left of it (thank you kitties), I am going to blog my way through this journey. The study is being conducted by Merck . The drug in question (MK-8931 aka SCH 900931) is designed to treat Alzheimer's rather than Primary Progressive Aphasia , which Mom actually has - but PPA is rare (approximately 40,000 nationwide in 2013). And her sort isn't too common within that group being the logopenic variant . There are a limited number of research centers in the U.S. that are even looking at PPA. Northwestern in Chicago is the closest. Mayo Clinic is another and UC San Francisco is the third. That's pretty much it, so nothing nearby. And since PPA is rare, the research money goes to the greater "need", the larger population base. I understand that, it makes a kind of mercenary sense - it's good business. But despite my understanding the way things ...

So you want to volunteer for something, for some organization. It is a cause you are passionate about. You live it, you breathe it and you have tons of experience in an area that they can use. Before you jump in with both feet, all bright and shiny... stop and think. Volunteering is a lot like the office - there are politics. If you think for one minute that everyone is going to get along, that everything will be all sunshine and togetherness for the cause that's really nice Pollyanna but you're kidding yourself. People who are passionate about things are also very protective. Of their turf, their contributions, their ... whatever. It should be all about the cause (fighting cancer, saving whales/puppies/seals, etc.) but many times it isn't. If you're competent and you make something look easy and it is a something that gets attention in some way - someone will want to take that away from you because you seem to be having fun and getting all the attention.  ...

I think it is fairly safe to say that most of us are bad at one thing, the same thing in fact - especially if we are female, more so if we are female and over the age of 40. We are bad at taking care of ourselves. I have to try to learn to do this ... no, more than try I have to learn to take care of myself and apply that learning every single day. Talk about Mission Impossible. Like many my age, I am becoming the caregiver for my aging parent. A parent with a degenerative brain disease that there is no treatment for, little research being done about and is pretty rare. It is called primary progressive aphasia . This disease is stealing my mother's use of language. Her speech, her ability to write - all of it. It attacks the language center of the brain, sets up house and settles in. It is related in pathology to Alzheimer's so the going though is well let's treat it with the same meds ... not helpful. Pretty useless in fact. And, get this, she wasn't sick enoug...

I miss writing. Maybe you miss reading what I write. Maybe not. I only have 2 actual followers for this blog through the page itself so perhaps NO ONE is out there reading this... of course if I cross-post to Facebook people can read it there without having to "follow" the blog itself. Isn't that cheating?  I was "chatting" with an old friend the other day about blogging and becoming a professional blogger. Face it, 2 - count 'em 2! - followers is hardly a roaring endorsement of the potential here. But we also talked about having a theme. I sort of do... or thought I did. Space. Cats. Pawprints From Space. Yet mostly this is a place to rant about life, the universe and everything. Oh wait "the universe" that's SPACE!! But I digress (which was once a wonderful column in the Comic Buyer's Guide by the marvelous Peter David. I wonder if it still is?), a theme, a focus, a purpose.... or just say what the hell and be me. You kno...

In a word: ARGH In today's world given the prevalence of social media and how easy it is to connect, many feel compelled not to simply connect but also to criticize, berate, be hateful, nasty and so on. It is far easier to be a snarky jackass online when you don't have to look the other person in the eye and say it to their face. It is far too easy to bash what others believe in, feel entitled to jump to the conclusion that no one other than you has any idea what the hell they are doing. You can insult, bully, harass and badger to your heart's content. You can spew hate every which way and cast your political views far and wide all while taking the holier than thou path to your own personal view of salvation and the hell (literally) with anyone who dares to disagree. It is also far too easy for the generous and kind-hearted to get sucked in by people pretending to be a friend when in actuality they are nothing more than a parasite looking to take advantage of s...

There have been changes. They are still painful and wounds will take time to heal. I like to think I will be able to extend forgiveness but I will not forget and there are certain folk I will never trust again. And that is sad.   When you give your heart and soul to something, at the expense of yourself no less, and work for over four years to improve conditions, perceptions and so forth only to have the very people you brought in to help because of their talents and skills only to have those same people turn on you and demand your departure ... it hurts.   And you worry.   You worry about what will happen and already in less than a month you can see the backsliding happening. You see the drop off in social media presence for example - down by 60% on the Facebook page stats. Why? Because one thing you used to do (as a volunteer mind you!) was keep the message in front of the public. You spent hours every night on the computer keeping on top of messaging....

The more things change the more they stay the same.   The mid-term elections are over. The Republicans have a majority in the Senate, but not a super majority, and they retained control of the House. On the surface you might think this will mean that things will now get done.   Nope. Without that super majority the factions will have to work together. The House knows this finally and bipartisan legislation has actually passed over there. But on the other side of Capital Hill ... well that's where bills went to die. The Democrats had a majority but not a super majority and the Republicans didn't feel like cooperating. The table has flipped around now. Does anyone really think that the Democrats are going to be inclined to play nice with the Republicans?   Get ready for more filibustering, more nominations being blocked and more of the same old stuff. The only difference is going to be who is doing the finger pointing. Well, that and the President's first ...

Somewhere along the line we all had an adult (or two) in our childhood who gave us a very simple life lesson: "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". This went hand in glove with the axiom known as The Golden Rule: "treat others as you would wish to be treated" or at a basic level: "be nice" and practice "good manners". These lessons make for a polite society.  "Polite" doesn't have to mean bland, it doesn't mean we can't have lively discussions and differences of opinions. It doesn't mean we have to like everyone we work with or come in contact with ... but it does mean respect. "Respect" means although we may disagree I have a right to my opinion and you to yours and I respect your opinion. I don't have to agree with it. I can state my opinion and trust that you respect me enough not to stomp all over it, call me names, make threats, point fingers, try to bully me int...

Yeha!! Finally got into this account. Curse you Google!! I swear it is getting as bad as Microsoft snapping up all the apps I am accustomed to using and forcing me to Google-ize them. Yikes!! Presently I am at my usual "watering hole" for Mondays: The Met . You see on Mondays this wonderful gentleman behind the bar comes up with a theme and creates a martini "flight" (three versions) to tempt the senses. Let me tell ya, after a "Monday from hell" (fess up we all have them) this is THE place to be - good food, great conversation (especially with the retired gentleman who can quote every Shakespeare sonnet and then some) at the bar.  Tonight I have had the amazing bread and herbed butter - should have had more food but what the hey. The theme tonight is "When Life Gives You Lemons" a flight of three lemonade inspired martinis. I didn't go for the whole flight - I do have to drive home after all - but tried the basil lemonade. Wow. Just w...

I love science! I adore it, there is SO much to learn about life, the universe and everything. And I am Catholic, so there's the whole belief in God thing going on.  Here's the thing: I don't buy the whole Bible-must-be-taken-literally hooha. In fact I was taught by the brothers in Catholic high school NOT to take the Bible literally -- especially the Old Testament. I was taught that the books of the Bible were written at all different times and that the stories recorded therein are teaching stories -- the way that Jesus taught by parables. Based on oral traditions handed down through generations with a probable bit of truth here and there (since every culture has a flood story that probably happened for example) but not these stories are not literal verbatim archives of what happened down to the minute. I mean come on really did people live to be 900 hundred years old? Seriously? In my classes that notion was one of wisdom not actual years. I was also taught ...

I may have hit my limit today. I say "may" because overall I am a forgiving sort. Not naive - I am no sunshine and roses everything's peachy all the time sort of person. I don't forget but I do forgive and empathize and understand because I can get into another's head and see where they are coming from and why they say and do what they do which leads to forgiveness. But even I have my limits. I am tired. Tired of the sniping, the negativity, the mindset that finds "evil" in the intellect, in being from the East Coast (or West Coast), in believing that caring for the less fortunate is somehow not appropriate for our culture/society, that might makes right and not might for right, that their version of religion is the only right version and that people who are different - that is: not white, not upper middle class, not Christian (their version mind you), not heterosexual, whose first language isn't English, who have piercings or tattoos etc. - hav...

More than once friends and others have asked "why". Why am I still Catholic? As if being a woman, and of a certain "liberal" frame of mind being Catholic is at odds with everything. I don't think it IS at odds. I don't find myself torn. I was raised Catholic. I went to CCD classes during grade school (since I went to public school) and I attended a Catholic high school - my choice, not my family's insistence. I had the opportunity through world religion classes in high school and college to explore other faiths (I learned about transcendental mediation from one of the brothers in high school), to visit temples and synagogues and talk to Buddhist monks, Rabbi's, Islamic scholars, followers of the Hindu faith, various protestant pastors ... and through all of that the more I learned about other faiths the deeper my own became. The more I saw how the faiths of the world are interconnected. We are all part of one family and as with all ...

I mean it this time. I know, I've said it before. I pledged never to do business with Sears again more than once. But this time I really, really mean it. And here is why: In July my dehumidifier decided that it was full all the time a refused to fire up and collect water even when the collection bucket was empty. I called every repair guy in the phone book. NO ONE worked on small appliances like dehumidifiers ... even the ones who claimed to work on small appliances. I have an occasional wet basement. We've had some nasty rains this year. I had water. I needed a way to dry the basement out. Last resort: Sears. They advertise online that they offer a carry in repair service. You will never pay more than $89 in labor costs. What they DON'T tell you is that you will pay $45 up front to diagnose your gadget's ills. So that was "discussion" number one with the staff. But I paid it because every scrap of paper, every receipt they gave me said very clearly (in ...

New kittens mean new craziness. Sparky had her second regular vet visit today although it was her third actual visit. Ten days ago she was rushed in to the vet's office due to an unexpected sighting of blood on her fanny. Ten days of liquid antibiotics later and that trauma is over. No today was the last of her kitten shots. When she gets bigger we'll do the rabies shot thing ... maybe before her surgery but maybe after.  She's been here three weeks now and the others are mostly used to her. Honey of course continues to snarl and hiss although not as much as she did at first. Purrcy seems to be happy to have someone to play with but considering the size difference he plays WAY too rough. She squeaks and he seems to think she's a squeaky toy and doesn't let go. Rumba is learning what it feels like to be chased for a change. There have been some awful fights between Honey and Rumba as well as Honey and Purrcy. This has happened before and appears to be ...

Rumba is a goofy cat.  You may recall she is a foundling from the local park who had her 15 minutes of fame in The Lima News thanks to the wonderful Tom Harrison. She is now 4 years old and has gone through the wonderful kitten and terrible teenager phases to end up an extremely affectionate goofball. She chatters (as all feline members of the household do) out the window at the birds and seems desperate to get out there and go after them. In fact the screens on the porch need to be replaced due to SOMEone's dexterity with her claws. She has successfully escaped the confines of the porch to go after the aforementioned birds. But Rumba's relationship with a certain indoor bird is really amusing. Figuring it out all by herself, Rumba has decided that the game of "fetch" is fun. She picks up her bird and wanders around the house crying until I come to play with her. She drops it, I throw it and she goes through amazing acrobatics to catch it (which she alway...

If you know me you know I have little tolerance for voluntary stupidity.  By "voluntary stupidity" I mean the sort of stupidity that people willfully, gleefully it seems, embrace. There are several kinds: The ones who choose not to read the announcement, ad or other printed documentation and then ask a question CLEARLY answered in said documentation. Such as:  Sign posted Hours 10:00 a.m. - 9:00 p.m. Question asked by a person who has the sign in their field of vision: So when are you open? That sort of thing is annoying enough and since I manage several Facebook pages for folks I see those kind of questions a LOT. Post some information and people will ask questions that clearly indicate they did not bother to read what you posted beyond the first three or four words. Really? Obviously you are literate enough to use a computer/smartphone/tablet to access the page and type in your question. Can you not perhaps maybe READ what we posted BEFORE you ask your si...

July 8, 2013 Verizon Wireless Attn: Correspondence Team PO Box 5029 Wallingford, CT 06492 To Whom It May Concern, I am so furious right now I can NOT begin to tell you. Your chat online service is “unavailable”, the idiots at the local store are well ... idiots and you have no email contact on your web site. Therefore I am forced to write a letter that will not get me swift action and no doubt result in you telling me that I should have spoken up sooner or some other such bunk. I purchased a new phone on July 1, 2013 as my old phone had finally died. I have been a loyal and happy customer of Verizon since I purchased my first cell phone in 1997. Cell #xxx.xxx-xxxx. I am NOT happy now and seriously considering switching providers. When I purchased my new phone all of a sudden I was not allowed to keep my previous plan DESPITE your own announcements that those of us with unlimited plans would be grandfathered in and still allowed to keep our plans. Okay I was annoyed an...