Valentine's Day Musings

So. Monday is Valentine's Day.

For those of us who are single with not even a casual companion on the horizon... this pretty much sucks. For those who have loved and lost (especially through death) this is painful, depressing and/or one of the worst days of the year.

I've gone beyond the fresh pain of the day, it is more of a dull ache now. Depression is a factor still and probably always will be. Self-pity plays its walk-on role with a certain malicious glee. I'll be working Valentine's night, eating fast food between one meeting and another. No sparkling wine and chocolates here, no great dinner out, flowers, jewelry or stuffed animals. Not even a sappy letter. If it weren't so damned cold and icy I'd go find myself a swing set and idle away some time under a starry sky.

It is a contrived holiday really. Retailers enjoy it. Jewelers, florists, candy shops and Victoria's Secret no doubt make out like the bandits they are. Men feel all sorts of pressure to get the right gift. Women set themselves up for serious disappointment thinking of diamonds and life promises. They compare the loot they receive over lunch the next day and judge each other by the dollar value and analyze the meaning of the gift. 

Why do we put ourselves through such silliness? Because at some point we drank in stories of happily ever after and believed them. We're older and wiser now but deep down we still very much want to believe that happily ever after is possible. 

We all want the fairy tale. One is rare... had one.... dare I hope for a second? After all this time I'm beginning to think not. 

There are love letters and a wedding album to look at or maybe the video. We didn't really do all that much for Valentine's Day, just spent the time together. And that should be the most important part - spending time together, not presents. Of course I wouldn't turn down presents.

For those of you who still have hope, have that wonderful person in your life ... have a happy Valentine's Day. Me I'm going to wrap up in my memories.

Comments

Anonymous said…
You made me cry. I love you Cat. I'm so glad he had you. And I know how special the memories are, because in all these years NO one has ever measured up..and no one will. Les was one of a kind. And I adored him.
Perhaps one day (not lowering our expectations mind you..but simply not expecting to ever feel quite the same way..one of a kind remember?) when we least expect it..someone might enter from the curtain wings and become a star in your life...and in mine. I thing we'll know..because I think you'll know who sent the star. Thank you for a post that made me remember gazing for them (except we sat on the hood of the car) Again...I love you!
12:12 AM
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