Why

More than once friends and others have asked "why".

Why am I still Catholic?

As if being a woman, and of a certain "liberal" frame of mind being Catholic is at odds with everything.

I don't think it IS at odds. I don't find myself torn.

I was raised Catholic. I went to CCD classes during grade school (since I went to public school) and I attended a Catholic high school - my choice, not my family's insistence. I had the opportunity through world religion classes in high school and college to explore other faiths (I learned about transcendental mediation from one of the brothers in high school), to visit temples and synagogues and talk to Buddhist monks, Rabbi's, Islamic scholars, followers of the Hindu faith, various protestant pastors ... and through all of that the more I learned about other faiths the deeper my own became. The more I saw how the faiths of the world are interconnected. We are all part of one family and as with all families we also have our differences.

I was raised in a parish where the Catholic social doctrine was paramount, in a home where that doctrine was important to a fulfilling and faith-filled life; I attended a high school taught by brothers (and nuns although they were far more stern) who encouraged questioning, research, reading (Augustine, Thomas Aquinas and other scholars). The "liberal" mindset embraces the tenants of the Catholic social doctrine: caring for those less fortunate, basic human rights, etc., etc. It lines up for me. 

I know what you're thinking: okay, but what about abortion? 

What about it? It has been upheld by the Supreme Court, it is legal and my religious beliefs are mine to struggle with regarding it. Could I have an abortion? Probably not. But I don't really know. None of us know what we would do in a situation until we find ourselves in it. I do know one thing: I'd be doing a lot of praying. And I know that my religious beliefs have no business telling someone else what decision to make. That decision is between them and God, not me. I was taught to be Catholic Christian by example NOT by shoving my beliefs down someone else's throat. Same goes for birth control. I've had a long chat with God about that issue and yes I have used birth control. Big giggle there ... didn't need to, God decided long ago that I wasn't going to be a mother. And oh by the way, Planned Parenthood provides health services to women with little or no insurance unrelated to abortion. I have used those services. I was referred to them by a priest.

On the subject of priests in general: They aren't all pedophiles, gay, homophobic or otherwise twisted. And the good ones haven't all left the Church. The priests I have known haven't been stuffy and stand-off-ish, they've welcomed conversation and debate, really listened to me and encouraged me to think. The kinds of conversation with their parishioners that friends tell me protestant pastors do and bemoan that Catholic priests don't. The only priest I've ever called by his last name was Monsignor Rank and he was a dear grandfatherly sort of man who was a joy to have known.

Yes the Church's history is filled with all sorts of scandals and outrage and corruption. Show me a long surviving institution that hasn't seen its share of those things. But as I learned, you have to put it in context. Consider: In the Middle Ages the Church was a profession for many and not a calling. If a noble family had three sons it was simple, one inherited the family estates, one went into the military and one went to the Church. So when it is a JOB and not a spiritual calling you are going to get what we got for so many centuries. But that has NOTHING to do with faith. Keep in mind too that it was the Church that kept knowledge, learning, writing and books alive throughout the Dark Ages.

My faith is not dimmed by these historical facts. So check off the Crusades, the Borgia Pope, the power the Church had over kings, etc. Never mind the Council of Trent and the bunch of old men who decided which books ended up in the Bible. The Bible IS the Bible and all these centuries later we are rather stuck with it and we have the ability to read the books that were left out if we choose. And remember, I was also taught not to take it literally, but to read and question.

I know people who have problems with the very basic beliefs of the Church, the catechism. They even have issues with transubstantiation (that in the Eucharist the bread and wine actually become the body and blood of Christ). Hello! This is a matter of faith ... you can't logically explain faith ... it is something you believe without proof (and yes, that little gem came out of the Council of Trent). But I have to ask, did those people ask .... did they discuss their questions with anyone? And if they did was it a discussion or were they simply told: believe it.

The Church today is the product of centuries. And actually the ancient rituals are soothing for me. It isn't going to change overnight. Women aren't suddenly going to be allowed to become priests. Priests aren't suddenly going to be allowed to marry. It is going to take a lot of time. The old men currently in charge will have to pass on before anything like that can happen. For example, the notion that Jesus only called men so only men can be priests needs to be looked at in the context of Jesus' time. Women were little more than property, who would listen to them? I believe that if Jesus were here today women would be called. And yes, that's something I learned to consider in high school. I can be patient. Rome wasn't built in a day and the Church didn't get to where it is today overnight. And the Church is going to be here after I'm gone. I have faith that it will evolve.

I find close-minded conservatives of every stripe irritating and usually ignorant. They don't look at the world in a big-picture way. They see only their own little turf and everything as a threat to that turf. The leaders of the Church of the Middle Ages thought that way, some still do. And Pope Francis seems to be having a lot of fun shaking them up. While they are irritating, they don't give me a reason to turn away from my faith, never have. I don't believe that our current Pope looks at the world the way the aforementioned close-minded folks do. I think he is a big picture kind of guy and the right person for the job today. Keep in mind the word "catholic" means "universal" ... that one concept alone can make you look at things in a broad way if you let it.

My faith isn't about "the Church" as an institution. Faith isn't an institution. It is between me and God. It goes deeper and broader than the words of whichever priest is giving the homily. And it has never let me down.

My faith has given me comfort and strength in horrible situations. Never have I prayed for help, guidance or anything else and been disappointed. My faith has always been there for me. I embrace the Catholic social doctrine, I am encouraged by Pope Francis, I sing in the choir ... and I am staying.

It's about faith and faith isn't logical. I stay because I have faith.