Vacation? I Don't Know How

Okay I confess... I have no idea how to relax, how to be "on vacation".

This is only day two but I already have a full agenda for today and tomorrow. Some of it is fun (facial, massage and lunch with a friend) but then there is the committee meeting tomorrow night, yard work, the housework and other things staring back at me screaming to be taken care of.

I don't know how to ignore these things. I used to. I used to be able to ignore everything and get lost in a book. I still read voraciously but I am multi-tasking when I do it: the news is on the TV or radio, I'm eating lunch, something...

I think I lost the ability to be still after my husband died. I threw myself into work and now I can't seem to claw myself back out of it.

I do enjoy yard work. I find it very therapeutic although it can be exhausting too. House work I hate but the laundry isn't going to do itself after all. Damn it. Wouldn't that be nice? Especially the ironing. Ick!

I'll probably end this week not refreshed but just as tired as when I started it.

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