Manners, Social Media and Why Can't I Punch Someone

In a word: ARGH

In today's world given the prevalence of social media and how easy it is to connect, many feel compelled not to simply connect but also to criticize, berate, be hateful, nasty and so on. It is far easier to be a snarky jackass online when you don't have to look the other person in the eye and say it to their face.

It is far too easy to bash what others believe in, feel entitled to jump to the conclusion that no one other than you has any idea what the hell they are doing. You can insult, bully, harass and badger to your heart's content. You can spew hate every which way and cast your political views far and wide all while taking the holier than thou path to your own personal view of salvation and the hell (literally) with anyone who dares to disagree.

It is also far too easy for the generous and kind-hearted to get sucked in by people pretending to be a friend when in actuality they are nothing more than a parasite looking to take advantage of someone's good nature and then cast them aside when this "friend" decides they no longer have a need for the poor soul who considers them a friend. Not caring about the pain their narcissism caused. And in some cases when called on the carpet (so to speak) the former "friend" will then distort the truth and bash the kind-hearted one all over the social spectrum.

In the last week I have seen all this in action. Have experienced some of it myself - this very day in fact.

When I post something to social media, I am sharing a thought, an idea, a happening. I am not inviting someone to assume that I am clueless and then proceed to tell me the error of my ways. Never mind that I do know what I am doing, have been doing it for most of my life. 

Case in point: I planted some cool weather plants over the weekend (pansies and snapdragons mostly) put other more tender plants in pots easily to move indoors... I have been berated for doing this. I DO know the climate in my yard, in my town and in my state. I know for example that there are micro climates within the yard - some areas are warmer than others - I know we have been upgraded to USDA Zone 6 and for the most part it holds true in my yard - I can now grow things I haven't been able to before... in short I have inherited my grandfather's ability to make damned near anything grow and have been doing so since I was about 10 years old. (you should see all the plants inside my house) I worked at the help desk of a horticultural company answering plant questions in college. I worked at a garden center. The ONLY reason I don't have master gardener credentials is that I have not been able to work the classes into my schedule. Trust me. I do know what I am doing.

And then there was my lament online that the Catholic Church is being bashed everywhere I go, everywhere I look - even by people supposed to be my friends and I am tired of it. That was all. And yet someone decided that my interpretation of being Christian (and Catholic) wasn't right. You can't say you're Catholic and actually BE a Christian unless you have a personal relationship with God. Really? What the bloody hell do they think is a "personal relationship"? Doesn't the sacraments of baptism and confirmation count? Doesn't the way I live my life count? Catholicism IS a Christian faith. Not to this person. Who by the way practices a non-mainstream tradition. I haven't unfriended the person but I am about to. Point of fact: not all priests are pedophiles who go after little boys for example. But to listen to some people only Catholic priests molest children. This clearly is not true. And I am sick of it. I ought to be able to go to dinner with friends (many of whom were raised Catholic) without having to defend my faith. Don't believe Catholics are under attack? Here's food for thought CLICK HERE.

A friend of mine who has a HUGE heart and is a gentle, caring, loving soul has the unfortunate ability to attract assholes. Sadly he will friend folks on Facebook, he will use his powers of PR and Media expertise in relation to the theatre to forward their careers only to have these jerks turn on him in the end. Now me, I don't friend anyone that I have not met in person but that's just me. This friend of mine is a wonderful person, he does not deserve the crap that constantly comes his way. But most of it comes his way because the idiots on Facebook feel empowered to walk all over people mostly because there are no flipping consequences for their actions. They can bash whomever they please and no one can reach out and punch them in the face as they so richly deserve.

Manners. They don't appear to exist within the social media universe. Manners would tell you to be nice, be polite, if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. Manners is still saying this... sadly no one appears to be listening.